Gundam SeeD Destiny: Through my eyes
by Spiritblade
Summary: [ONE SHOT] A story about Meer Campbell, a girl not so different from any other girl, who strove to touch the sky.


**A Gundam SeeD Destiny Fanfic**

**Through my eyes**

**Written by Spiritblade**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GSD or its characters. I will only make use of them to my evil ends. Now, let me try my hand at a GSD story and see if I can throw together a good one. This story is from the view of Meer Campbell, the False Lacus, a fallible, hopeful girl who had striven to touch the sky. I hope I have captured the heart and spirit of this tragic girl, and done her justice. This is staged during Stage 42/43 of GSD - Meer, where the Twin Lacuses will meet for the first - and last - time.

I sit quietly on the stone seats of the theatre, waiting for Athrun to arrive. My thoughts were in chaos, as they have been the past few days. Questions about my identity, about if what I did was right, about what had happened before, filled my mind. I had so many questions, but no answers to any of them. Perhaps, with this meeting with the other Lacus Clyne, I will have them. This meeting will prove beyond any shadow of a doubt that I am the real Lacus.

I will prove to Athrun and this Kira that I am the Lacus that had commanded the Eternal in the closing days of the Bloody Valentine War, who had brought peace to PLANT and Earth. But, something inside me tells me that all that I am, all that I see, all that I speak and sing, is not the real me.

I look into the mirror and see Lacus Clyne and not the dark-haired, lively girl that I once was. I smile, but that smile is Lacus's, not Meer Campbell's. Does Athrun see her smile? Or mine? I want to know. I want to be real. When Athrun looks at me, I want him to look at _me_, and acknowledge that I am so.

Was it wrong to have done so? To have stolen Lacus Clyne's identity? Was it so wrong to be like the one person I admire above all else? I have long-wanted to be as beautiful and as talented as her. I always wanted a good boyfriend, and I catch one that most girls would die for. I had expected competition for his affections, but never ones as formidable as the ones that made themselves known.

On one side were the two Hawke sisters who served with Athrun-san on the _Minerva_, Lunamaria and Meyrin.

On the other was the leader of Orb, President Cagalli Yula Attha.

I felt insignificant when compared to them. Each of them had a strength that I lacked, a strength I wanted so as to prove worthy of Athrun's affections. In doing so, I would get to know more about him. I tried to get him to open up, but my efforts proved to be futile. Why? I try to make him smile, something he rarely does, but I embarrass him instead.

When I slipped into his bedroom so many months back, he had given vent to a startled shriek, crashed onto the floor and stared at me in utter disbelief. To make matters worse, Lunamaria Hawke had come to wake him up right at that exact moment. I was infuriated, and chose to make my claim public. Lunamaria-san's gaze had been well-masked and her reply to Athrun had been cool and calm, but I saw (and felt) the outrage in them.

It was clear that I had stomped on her toes.

But, I can smile now, even as I remember his expression when I told him that sleeping with him was normal as I was his girl. He looked so boyish and cute at that time. Hopelessly lost, totally helpless, and so tongue-tied that it was endearing. I wanted to see him like that more often. It was better than his pained, brooding facade. It was better than that look of suppressed anguish. It was better than that look of anger and disappointment.

When Chairman Dullindal brought up mention of his friend and my supposed 'lover', Kira Yamato, I saw the way Athrun had reacted, and realised that this was the only chink in his armour that would allow me to see the person he really was. I found out more than I wanted to, and it gouged a deep scar in my heart. All my presumed assumptions of the kind of person Athrun was fell apart, and yet the wound he inflicted on me made me realize, albeit too late, that what he _is_, is better than what I imagined him to be.

When I refused to leave with him that time, I realised too late that I had made a terrible mistake that could not be undone. He had extended his hand, to give me a chance to soar from my gilded cage, passionate and free, rather than at the whim of another. In my insecurity, I refused his offer. And though my refusal saved my life...it cost him and Meyrin Hawke their lives.

It was already too late to ask for forgiveness.

Too late to say that I loved him.

Too late for many things.

But with this meeting, maybe I can lay this ghost to rest...if I ever can.

Also, it will allow me to meet Kira Yamato. All I have ever seen in him was in a picture, and I was immediately drawn to him as I was to Athrun. Call me fickle, but I want to know this young man who had captured the heart of the 'real' Lacus Clyne.

What was it about this Kira Yamato that made him such a force in Athrun's life?

What was he like?

Could he lay my ghosts to rest?

Can he make me strong as he had made Athrun strong?

Can I tell him that Athrun's death was my fault, and that I'm sorry?

I found it hard to believe that this gentle-looking boy was the same person who had piloted the Freedom, and had fought alongside Athrun in the closing days of the Bloody Valentine War. I found it amazing that Lacus Clyne - the real one, not me - would abandon everything to be with him. What can he offer her? Indeed, why is it that, for this one person, she could make such a sacrifice? Was he worth it?

I want to ask Lacus-sama those questions as Athrun is no longer here to give me the answers.

A voice calling my name - a familiar voice - broke through my train of thought and cause me to look up. My eyes widened. There, standing at the entrance of the stage, was Athrun. I could not believe it. It was impossible! He was alive...

I felt my tears spill even as I ran towards him, arms spread, instants before a pistol pointed in my direction caused me to freeze in my tracks.

"A-Athrun...?" I asked in a shaky voice.

"Stay where you are, Meer," Athrun said.

"B-but why...?"

And from behind, I saw three other figures emerge from the shadows. I recognise them immediately. The red-haired girl who had her hair in twin, thick ponytails was none other than Meyrin Hawke, Lunamaria's younger sister. The young man with brown hair and amethyst eyes, moving like a graceful shadow, was Kira Yamato. And finally, beneath a dark brown cloak and hood, like a sorceress of old, with pink locks of hair, facing me, was Lacus Clyne herself.

Kira Yamato stood beside her, and I felt a stab of envy. Even without words, I can tell that Kira Yamato loved the 'real' me, and that she loved Kira in return. There was a bond between them that was forged in blood and tears.

"So, you're Meer Campbell," Kira Yamato said, addressing me for the first time, "My name is..."

"Kira Yamato. I've heard of you," I finish for him, fighting back the blush that threatened to overcome me. His eyes, deepest amethyst, catching the light reminded me of the night sky at its most glorious. It was this that made him utterly dangerous, this soulful gaze that said nothing, yet promising everything. It was one that could peer into the depths of one's soul, and yet not shame the other for his weaknesses even as it acknowledged the other's strengths.

In that gaze, I could see strength and dignity as well as soul-crushing sorrow and guilt.

"You've wanted to speak to me, Meer-san," Lacus Clyne's melodious voice - my voice - spoke next, "I am glad that we can finally meet one another."

As am I, Lacus Clyne.

Even with this, even with my dream promising to crumble, even as I fight to keep it together, I am glad that we can meet like this. I have come full circle. I have been you, sang and spoke as you, and I want to know if it had all been worth it. Had it been the right thing to do? Can all I have worked hard to achieve still be mine?

Can I find what you have found?

And, if I were you, would your Kira held me as he held you? Would Athrun?

I want to know. I want the answers from the person who had them.

And when I had them, I understood.

My hopes.

My dreams.

Even as white-hot pain robbed my ability to scream, even as the sun shimmered brightly to blind me, even as I heard my other, my 'real' self scream my name, I had my answer.

For no matter how brief, it had all been worth it.

Athrun-san, Kira-san...do I have a place in your memories now? Will you remember everything I have hoped for, everything that I have striven for? If you do, then it is enough. It is all I can ever ask for.

**Fin.**


End file.
